So maybe, when you emerge onto the tube/train platform in the middle of rush hour, you might want to move along a bit. See there are probably people behind you who also want to get onto the fucking platform.

Or do you maybe get some little sexual pleasure from people bumping into the back of you, as you stop dead, head rotating like a fucking lighthouse gawping at all the pretty lights.

GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY, CUNT.

Why am I surrounded by such a dribbling ineffectual braying herd of gits, shits, pricks, cunts, fucks and more fucking pricks? Was I Hitler in a former life or something?

Jesus Suffering Fuck.

Ugg boots might be comfortable, but they are COMPLETELY FUCKING HIDEOUS.

No, really. I honestly hope those things are free, because you look like utter cunts in them. Without exception.

Walking around with your feet in two dead rotting badgers might be comfy too, but it would be pretty bloody nasty to look at.