Some say the first word he ever said was “wanker”, and that he once convinced a would-be mugger to stab himself as it made far more sense for all concerned.
We’ve also heard that he lives on a diet comprised entirely of tea, vodka and rage, and sleeps in ten-second bursts throughout the day.
Others insist that he is lactose intolerant, not because of any allergy, but purely because milk is stupid.
All we know is… he’s called The Idiot.