Ho cunts. What did I miss?
I’ve been off wanking into BA Robertson’s toaster, chucking women at the pope, bugling away my third nose and garrotting budgies for the Czech mafia.
I only remembered I had this cunting website when a cunt on Twitter flicked my ballsac with a wet towel, saying “Since there’s no email address on your website, I’ve had to sign up for this shit.”
Over there on the right, you are intended to see some text labelled “Fucking Contact“, which – in case for some reason you can’t see it, or you’re a cunt – says:
“The domain is idiotsplayground.com and the username is theidiot. If you can’t figure it out from that then I don’t want to fucking hear from you anyway.”
This remains as true now as it was when I shat it onto the keyboard.