Fuck You Very Much

Sorry, what exactly was soooo funny about a man in a coat running? The coat? Or the running?

If you can find such hearty amusement in someone nipping back to their desk to retrieve something quickly so as not to annoy those who are holding the lift for them, then I truly don’t know whether to pity you for your utter and complete lack of wit, or to envy you in that you must be in an almost permanent state of near fucking hysteria.

Fuck me.

You there. Wanker. Yes, you. Wanker with the laptop on the front carriage of the 19:20 eastbound from Camden Road. Your bag is not a passenger, regardless of how important you imagine your “work” to be. Therefore it shouldn’t have its own seat.

Cunt.

I’m actually on the fucking bog right now. Right now. Pushing one out.

It’s not going quietly, either, I can fucking tell you. Going to be here for ten minutes clearing this bastard up.